Article by Maral Alymova Vijay (Mohini Madhavi Devi Dasi)
Have a lot of friends
Not boyfriends though. But nice female friends. How it may help you?
Well, first of all when you have nice friends you have always chance to serve them and get similar help for yourself. Friends are those who help you when you are in need. If you have un married friends try to help them first, to get married as a gratitude they will do everything to marry you successfully. That is a mutual help.
Second benefit of having lots of friends is that you won't be alone. You will have people with whom to be happy; people to whom to open your heart. We are social beings. We suffer when we are alone. Especially for girls it is very nice to have lots of friends and communicate with them regularly.
There was time in India when I was staying alone. Few months later I was in the verge of madness. Literally I fell into depression out of loneliness. Even my spiritual practice didn’t help to overcome that depression. On the contrary I started thinking: "for what sake I am chanting this Maha Mantra? For what sake I am worshiping God?..." That was a serious depression. As a result many nights daily I used to cry, cry and cry.
Few days later I visited the house of my friend who used to stay with her parents, sister & brother. As a result I ended up staying with them in their small studio. That was tiny but I felt myself inside ocean like hearts of these people so I was out of depression.
We started living together, do service together…that way somehow we were married to nice husbands.
Be in the society of nice people.
In Vedic society, earlier, families were huge. Looking for a husband was not a big deal. And all relatives used to care for a girl looking for a suitable husband. But these days parents are divorced, or they don't care much about the marriage of their kids. So it is better for girls to be in some societies. It may be a charitable organization. Or an organization of volunteers. Or some religious organizations. Society where they will find lots of friends, senior ladies, mothers…
If girl is in that society then first of all she will be noticed, secondly she will have chance to do service, thirdly all married women will try to help her.
I meet my husband because of my councilors. They were eager to find me a suitable husband.
Be a woman
These days many women try to imitate men. They wear as men, they work and earn money as men, they do jobs suitable for men etc. Wearing dresses, skirts will make you look like a girl. It helps you to act like a girl. People will respect you as a girl. Where as in jeans or other pants you may look very attractive but serious, strong men always have desire to have a modest and chaste girl as their wife.
Sweet speech, modesty, shyness, ability to cook, to take care of people, kid…these are all qualities necessary to get married to a responsible man.
Give Care
Woman is made of love. She is inclined to give love & care. She is so sensitive that even if her relatives don't express their need she knows all of them. Husband may not know why kid is crying but wife knows for sure that he is hungry or he needs to do nature's call.
But because women try to do jobs suitable for men they don't use their sensitivity, their intuition. That is why they lose their ability to give love and care.
So if woman wants to get married it is better for her to start giving care for others. Be in the society and serve to elderly people, help in cooking, washing plates or any other services. If you don’t have chance to do all that then at least put a home for birds and start feeding them. Find some homeless dogs or cats and give your love for them, feed them. That care giving nature will increase in woman feminine qualities. Her heart becomes soft. Plus all those seniors whom she serves will bless her for getting married to a suitable, good man.
My friend and I started helping 5-6 elderly women in Temple kitchen. We used to do all menial services so that those ladies comfortably cook for the Lord. We used to cut vegetables as they say, wash the plates, clean the kitchen etc. One day one of those senior ladies went to a Holy place. After coming back she pulled us back and told to our ears that she told to God to kick us out for getting married and be in the hands of trustable men. You don't believe but within few month I got married. And on the day of my marriage my friend got a proposal for getting married from another boy. And next year she also got married.
So that is the power of a blessing, especially from a chaste woman!
Hobbies
A girl who wants to get married is mostly always dreams about getting married. Later she starts getting worried, then become morose, then impatient. All those depressions will make her look bad. I may love milk. But if somebody forces me to drink it I will hate it. I don't like force. Nobody likes force. So when girl who is not patient she will try to force the time, force people, force men to get married to her. People won't like it. They prefer to keep away from such girls.
So engaging yourself with your favorite hobbies will keep you detached from marriage in that way you will look very beautiful
Grow Spiritually
Person gets love and happiness basically from 3 sources:
Food
Opposite sex
God
If you want a husband who will be chaste to a family then you yourself should work hard and become chaste. If you don't get your love & happiness from God then you will search for pleasure in opposite sex or food. Similarly man you meet probably will have similar desires. As a result our beauty is not eternal. Years after when we look older husband may try to find beauty outside the family if he doesn't find that love from God.
And of course spirituality may change the karma. If one has bad horoscope then only by serving God and gaining spiritual knowledge one can change the destiny. Bad karma may appear in the form of defected family house in the horoscope. Or girl will have to marry too late or she is destined to suffer in family life because of a bad husband etc.
Austerities
Previous times girls from 7 years of age used to perform rituals and austerities to please the Lord and request Him to give them a nice husband. These days unfortunately, all movies teach girls to lose virginity before 13. And have dozens of boyfriends otherwise, they say, you won't be able to get married or you are an uncivilized girl.
Following movie stars many girls then change their husbands like year changes seasons from one into another.
When girl loses her chastity, cleanliness having lots of boyfriends it will be very difficult for her to get married. Even if she gets married she won't be able to be chaste to one man by remembering all previous relationships and by comparing those men with one another.
After all it is difficult for a girl to forget previous relationships. Man can easily forget a girl even if he was in love with her. But for a girl it is very difficult to forget relationships.
Where as if girl remains chaste she will be blessed with a good husband whom she will love for whole life. That is why for a girl first of all to keep herself pure and chaste is the foremost austerity.
Then she can follow vegetarian diet, do rituals and please God and her relatives, friends with her service attitude.
Tell your desire, don't keep silence
On the other hand some girls go into extreme. They become so much shy that they don't reveal their desire to get married even to their friends, parents, relatives. If that is the case then who will notice that girl? Who will try to help that girl? How men will find her? Hear about her? See her? No how.
That is why it is recommended that girl tell about her desire to her well wishers, relatives …
In my case I remember, and always grateful to many families who helped me in finding my husband. One Chinese woman with her Indian husband, 4-5 Indian couples and my counselors all were interested and worked hard to get me married.
Same thing happened to many of friends. One girl I meet in the Temple looked so gentle to me. She used to wear beautiful saree, she had long hair and seemed to me like a very humble girl. Her modesty and charming smile made me to come to her and ask her name. Later I become to know that she was above 34 but she looked very young. I asked if she is married and heard response "no" but she added that she would like to get married if she finds someone. That time my desire was to help this girl to get married faster.
Few days later I received a profile of a boy and shared with her. She discussed with her parents and after a month she told that she is ready for marriage. That was a pleasing surprise.
So people don't know your heart and people can't see you through wall. Come out to proper social settings, be with your friends and request others to help you.
Know your faults
I was puffed up with myself considering myself a princes. But once my dear friend told me, "hey Maral, you look like a child. Your body looks like a child…so please don't be puffed up." That humbled me a lot.
We mostly see ourselves in front of bathroom mirror where there is no Sun light, that is why we cannot see our wrinkles, pimples, dark circles clearly. Bathroom mirror shows us very cute. And many times we cover our faults with cosmetics. Where as men cannot do that. After that we compare ourselves to men. Of course we look better, isn't it?
My sister before she wanted to get married, I asked her what kind of a boy she likes. She told first thing is that he shouldn't be fat. Where as in our family she was the center of humor when it comes to eating and body weight. She was overweight.
So many times we don't see our faults. And easily see the faults of others. In that way we maybe already rejected a boy who supposed to be our husband.
Another example is my another friend. She was approached by a medical student. She was working in the very prestigious bank at that time, plus she was very beautiful. So she rejected the boy saying that he is a student and little bit disliking his looks. But now after 7-8 years he is married doctor with their two kids where as she is still searching for a husband.
So destiny may give but because we are proud of ourselves we reject the gift.
At the same time it doesn't mean to get married to anyone who approaches no!
There are methods where you can verify a boy. (We have another video about that) But the main thing is talk with your parents, relatives and hear their advice. Don't reject a boy immediately.
Listen to your parents.
Many girls these days hide with whom they are talking. That is why they fell in love and become victim of so many disturbances in the form of divorce, lose of purity before marriage etc.
That is why it is recommended that girls before dating with a man meet him with their parents, relatives. Study the background of the boy, match horoscope etc. Then only start talking to him.
Parents may be drunkards, or even divorced people but they always love their kids. That is why they sense the danger in their kids' life.
There was time when I was looking for a husband at online websites. So I used to sit with my mom and she used to advice me who is a nice boy and who is not. She is not a vegetarian or she doesn't follow any particular religion but she loves her kid - me.
Hope all these practical tips will help you in finding a nice husband my dear friends!
Also understand one thing, if by destiny you should get married late then it may happen so. Once when I was 22 one palmistry expert predicted me that I will get married when I am 27-28. I was shocked. I couldn't believe him at that time. But I got married when I was 27 no matter how much I tried or even wasted my time before that.
We may want something and God wants something for us. We may want something in our own time but God knows when to give. So please do all the things from your side and wait for the blessings of God!
Thank you!
Maral Alymova Vijay (Mohini Madhavi Devi Dasi)
Source : http://maral-alim.blogspot.my/2016/12/10-practical-tips-for-getting-married.html
:) Thank you Mataji or Prabhuji, for sharing it! Hope to serve Devotees better!
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